Thursday, November 1, 2012

Think About It Thursday

Something to think about - do the people around you help or hinder your health process?

A lot of people start out very encouraging when we want to get healthier but the second it has an effect on them, they lose that supportive attitude.  When our healthy choices make them feel less comfortable with their unhealthy ones, or they want someone to laze around with and we choose activity instead, when we lose weight and gain confidence, highlighting their own dissatisfaction with their bodies, then all of sudden all that support turns to undermining instead.  Comments like "can't you just have one bite", "one drink won't hurt you", "you're getting too skinny", "you're no fun anymore" and so on and so on can really derail our progress.  We don't want to alienate our friends and family...but we also don't want to forget our own goals.

It's easier said then done, but when people make comments like that, you need to let them roll of your back or use them as a chance to educate on what you're doing - but at all costs, do not let them hold you back!  If someone thinks you're getting too skinny, ask by what standard? In America, we are so used to seeing extremely overweight to morbidly obese people that we've begun to think that's normal; when someone is a healthy weight (especially when we are used to seeing them overweight) they can appear quite thin when in fact they are finally closer to a healthy weight.  I find that comment is usually thinly veiled jealousy as well.  When someone says "can't your just have one bite, or one drink", I try to say "I can, I am choosing not to today" - this allows you to highlight that you aren't cutting everything out forever but that each day, each meal, you are in charge of what goes in your mouth and only you know what you need/want that day.  The "you're no fun anymore" comment is the one that really bugs me.  Was our friendship really built on overeating and unhealthy habits? If it truly was, is this really a friendship I want to continue?

It can be very hard to cut toxic people out of your life.  Women in particularly tend to feel guilt if they end a friendship but sometimes you have to put your health and sanity above that friendship.  A true friend supports your successes, encourages you through your failures and doesn't attempt to undermine your goals.  I know that I've felt jealous of friends that seem to have an easier time losing weight then I do.  I believe in admitting that you're jealous but make sure you include that you are proud of them - and then recruit them to help support and encourage you in reaching your goals.  Their success can translate into success for both of you if you work together instead of against each other.

So think about it - are your relationships helping or hurting you? Are there people that you need to cut out or reduce your time with in order to achieve your goals? Can you admit to having jealousy of other people's success without derailing them - can you ask for their support?

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