Thursday, January 3, 2013

Why I cried 4 times on Christmas...

I wish I could say all 4 sets of tears on Christmas day were happy tears (one time was happy tears, my husband's cards always make me cry because he is just so sweet).  But the other three were unhappy, frustrated and disappointed tears.

Now in case you're thinking I am brat crying over presents or something stupid like that, that was definitely not the case.  No, it started because I have been dealing with a little bit of hip pain recently and on Christmas morning, after not running for a few days to let my hip rest, I decided to attempt another run.  My hip felt a bit sore while I walked to warm up but when I attempted to start my actual run, I was less than a half a block in when I realized I was simply not going to be able to run for a while.  I had been preparing so hard for this half marathon in January and all of sudden it was all for nothing.  The tears started and didn't stop for 45 minutes after while I walked around not really knowing what to do with myself.

I finally managed to stop crying long enough to head home to wake my husband for Christmas breakfast and when I told him I couldn't do the half marathon, I started the second round of tears.  The third set happened when I opened the running socks I had specifically asked my mum to get me for Christmas.  My poor mum felt terrible, partly because she could fully relate to my frustration over pain interrupting your life but also because she'd got me several other running related gifts!

Everyone has told me this is just a set back and I will do my half marathon, just not in January.  And I know they are right but it doesn't stop it from really sucking right now.  So much hard work falling by the wayside.  So much frustration at my body for letting me down but also at me for letting my body down.  I always tell people training for long runs that you MUST cross-train with other forms of cardio and that you must stretch and I just didn't hold myself to those same standards.  As my step-dad told me "the cobbler's children are always the worst shorn", which truthfully I didn't understand at first! But when he explained it to me, I couldn't help but agree - we all struggle to follow our advice.  I pushed my body too hard and it fought back.  And it drives me crazy not just being able to push through which is my go-to plan for most everything.  I actually have to just rest and it's making me crazy!

It's also hard because I so publicly talked about this goal and now I have to say that for right now, I can not accomplish it.  I hate that.  I hate saying I can't do something and I really hate publicly saying I can't do something, especially fitness related because I have always simply pushed through.  I have never felt so emotional about a workout set back before and I know I need to channel this energy into something positive, like training the body parts I can safely train now, eating even healthier since I won't have cardio to offset anything and to training smarter next time.  And I will get positive about it, but for just a second, I am going to let myself be upset and disappointed.  And then I will move on and train smarter and better.

What setbacks have you experienced? How did you get through them? Any advice for me on not letting this setback get me down?

4 comments:

  1. Julia, so sorry you have had this setback which is beyond frustrating to you. The positive in it is that you see how important it is to train safely and stretch. As you get older..like me haha...you will find that your body limits you in all sorts of ways that you can't simply "push through". Step builds on step. This experience will add to your wisdom and empathy in teaching others to avoid setbacks. Thanks for being so honest! Jan

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    1. Thanks Jan! This had been a really good learning experience for me because I always just push through and I don't let myself rest and recover (despite preaching it to everyone else!). It's frustrating when your body just says no but you're right, you've got to listen to your body and take care of it. I'm so hard on myself when I don't give 110% to every workout, but this is forcing me to relax a little! Thanks for the support!

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  2. That sucks, I'm so sorry you can't do the half in January. I have no doubt with your motivation and with a new regime that helps mitigate injuries, you'll do it later in the year. You should do the Seawheeze in the summer!

    Anyway I can sure relate to the injury thing with a herniated disc. It's incredibly frustrating to hold back when you have more energy left, but it's just not worth it to cause yourself lasting injury. Maybe you can ease yourself back into exercise with gentler activities to start when you're feeling up to it. Yoga?

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    1. I knew you'd be able to relate Laura! I never truly realized how annoying and frustrating it would be to feel like my body was saying no to me!
      The Seawheeze is a great idea! Maybe I'll make that my new running goal! And yes, definitely more yoga and stretching. I always joke that I'm terrible about remembering to stretch but this injury has made me realize just how important it it!

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