Wednesday, October 16, 2013

If you have nothing nice to say... (part 1)

I follow a ton of fitness people on Instagram and Facebook. I find them inspiring and motivating. But I despise when I see people criticize others body types from behind a computer screen.

I posted a picture of Nicole Wilkins on my Facebook page (visit it here) and my own mum, a very fit lady herself, commented "too, too much" and you know I just had to call her out on it. I asked her if I had posted a picture of someone who was very overweight instead of extremely fit, would she have commented the same way? She replied no, she would have been to afraid to say that! Now I'm not saying we should all censor everything, and my mum is not normally one to criticize others and I don't think she meant anything negative by this comment, but we should remember what that when you have nothing nice to say, you don't need to say anything at all. These are real people posting pictures of themselves. Real people with real feelings. I don't believe fat people should be criticized for their weight and I don't believe fit people should be ridiculed just because you don't personally like their physique. (sorry for calling you out again taught me to stand up for what I believe in!)

Recently at work (as a flight attendant), a very fit woman was on board. Of course I took the time to talk to her and get some advice. Other crew members said negative things about her (too muscly, too thin) and my captain made a face as she left the plane that suggested her look wasn't for him (side note - super unprofessional buddy!). She didn't see it...but her husband did. The husband commented back how rude that was of him.

When I heard what had happened I was appalled. Seriously. If a certain physique isn't for you, fine. Keep it to yourself. No one's body is your business unless they are your family or closest friend and their weight (high or low) is truly an issue. Otherwise, shut it. We deal with enough crap from society to look a certain way, we don't need random people commenting too. The dedication it takes to get super fit should be admired, not mocked. 

Fat people know they are fat. You don't have to tell them. Fit people aren't fit for you, they're fit for themselves. So unless you're saying something nice, shut it. It's rude. Your mother taught you better than that. 

What body criticisms have you seen/experienced! 

Do you judge others bodies? 


  1. Julia is right. I was out of line and as she pointed out to me the picture I saw was Nicole posing in competition. Julia sent me another picture of Nicole looking like a very fit young woman. I blurted out my instant reaction to the first one and realize now that, in fact, I might even have been envious of that woman's muscle. No I don't want to look like she did in the picture, but I do want more muscle and as I get older that seems harder and harder to build and even harder to maintain. I believe most of you readers are younger than me and I really want to encourage you all to be as strong and healthy as you can be - it will stand you in good stead for your whole life. I might even write a guest post on this!

  2. PS it's never to late to teach your mum a thing or two!

    1. Yes please write a guest post!! I know I post pictures of women that aren't aesthetically pleasing to everyone because they are so fit just as others post pictures where my first thought is "unhealthy." Of course we all have our opinions but from behind the computer screen, we don't need to voice them all.

      Theres too much pressure on women already!


      speaking of women and their bodies

    3. This has been posted so much and I think I may be one of the few women who didn't relate to it that much. I think part of it was growing up in a house full of women - I have never felt the need to be less, so a man could be more. Even my weight loss efforts are more for other women (and myself of course) than they have ever been for men. In fact, every man I've dated (and the one I married) prefer me when I am not super thin/muscly/small but I don't care cause I work out to feel good for me.

      I like what this woman is saying because I do believe we are heavily influenced by our mothers as women but I also really felt like she placed her issues with her body on her mother and I struggle with that once you're an adult; personal responsibility. I don't know, I don't want to take away from what she's saying and how much it is resonating with a lot of women - just for me, it's not how I have ever felt. Feels like giving your power over your self-esteem and self-image to society and those around you instead of owning it yourself.

    4. But that's just it - I think you are the exception. I think most women are actually influenced by the women around them, more so than the men. It seems to me we look around us, at our friends, our sisters, our mothers, the 'stars' and we compare ourselves to them or, perhaps to what we think they are. Few of us are strong enough to say "this is me, take it or leave it"...their is peer pressure from every side, especially when we are younger to look a certain way, wear certain clothes, say certain things. If your mum was under the same pressure, it's fairly certain it's going to be hard for her to help her daughter have the power, if she hasn't figured it out herself. You have managed to find that strength of mind and that it just one of the many things I admire about you